In my wedding planning series, I’m guiding you through the wedding planning process to make it as seamless as possible for you. You will find lots of helpful tips and advice to make the big day one you will never forget. In this post, we’re discussing how to choose your wedding party!
Planning your wedding is a pretty big deal. There is a lot of work involved overall but there is no right or wrong way to plan your wedding. However, there is an easy way to organise your wedding planning leaving you stress-free and able to enjoy every moment of this exciting time in your life.
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From the outset, there are a lot of decisions to be made for your upcoming wedding. In my previous post, where to begin planning your wedding, I covered the first steps any couple should begin with; setting your budget, creating your provisional guest list and deciding on your date and venue.
While wedding planning is exciting, you may quickly realise that there are too many tasks for you and your partner to cope with. You’re only human and you cannot do everything and be everywhere at once.
There are a lot of tools available to help you plan the perfect wedding. My favourite tool is Bridebook.com (it is super helpful!)
However, on the big day itself, you will be too busy keeping calm to worry about whether the tables are set correctly. That’s where your superhero wedding party come in.
Choosing your Wedding Party
Being part of your wedding party is a big role and should be a pretty valued one at that. Your wedding party are on hand to make sure that you and your partner only need to worry about looking amazing and feel the love all day.
If you’re having trouble deciding who should be part of this exclusive team then check out the roles below. I have also included some guidance on how to choose your all-star cast!
A typical bridal party includes the roles below although not all are necessary. That’s up to you to decide if you will have some or all of these roles filled.
- Maid of honour
- Best man
- Flower girls
- Ring bearer
How to choose your wedding party
Maid of honour and best man
Two of the most important roles in your wedding party are the maid of honour and best man.
Typically these roles are filled by the people who are closest to the bride and groom. But they also need to be trusted with the responsibility of carrying out their duties.
Good organisation is required for these roles along with emotional support for the couple. They will help with your wedding planning and will keep your bridesmaids and groomsmen in check.
Some of their wedding planning duties will be to:
- Arrange the suit and dress fittings for the wedding party
- Organise the wedding shower
- Plan the hen and stag parties
Furthermore, they are the points of contact on the wedding day. Along with liaising with the venue and suppliers, they will be responsible for making sure everyone is present for the photographs.
These are pretty big shoes to fill. They are there to guarantee that the bride and groom can focus on, you know, getting married.
When choosing these roles it’s crucial to consider who do you class as your closest confidant? Who are the most reliable people around you? How do you imagine them giving a speech?
If the answers to these questions are positive, then go ahead and ask them to take on these special roles.
The main job for your bridesmaids is to assist the maid of honour with her wedding planning duties. Especially the hen party!
On the day itself, your bridesmaids will walk down the aisle behind the maid of honour.
When choosing your bridesmaids it is worth taking a few things into consideration. How well do you know the person? Do you get on well without any disagreements? Would the lucky person have your back and vice versa? Will they understand what is expected of them?
Many people think that being a bridesmaid is just turning up on the day, putting on a pretty dress and strutting down the aisle. You need to be confident that whoever you choose will be there for you when you need them. They need to be supportive and align themselves with your plan. Even if it is not something they would choose themselves.
The groomsmen have little responsibility prior to the wedding. Their main job will be to check in with the groom and the best man to see if there is anything to help with.
Their only real expectation is to help organise the stag and make sure the groom gets home afterwards!
On the wedding day, the groomsmen will be expected to form a welcome party and offer assistance to your wedding guests.
Although this might not sound like a massive task or even of any great importance, it’s still wise to give careful consideration to who you ask to be a groomsman.
They will be part of the wedding photographs and years down the line you want to look back fondly on your photos.
A flower girl is usually a small girl who scatters petals up the aisle for the bride to walk on. This is typically a young family member such as a daughter, niece or a cousin. However, in recent years it is becoming popular to open this up to older girls, women or even flower men.
Although it’s not a requirement to fill this position you may want to make your entrance extra special.
A ring bearer usually carries a small cushion down the aisle which holds the wedding rings on top. Typically the ring bearer would walk down the aisle alongside the flower girl. However, again in recent years couples have been erring towards the less traditional routes and have found this role is the perfect way to include their pets.
If you don’t want to have a ring bearer at your wedding then it would typically fall to the best man to look after the rings until they are needed.
Will you fill all of these roles?
Hopefully, after reading about the key roles in a typical wedding party, you will have gained a better understanding of what they are and what duties are expected.
Not all of these roles are necessary depending on the type of wedding you are planning to have. Now is the time to decide which roles you will include in your wedding party and what responsibilities each role will take on.
You can, of course, utilise all of the titles mentioned here but as an example, for my wedding, I did not have a maid of honour or a ring bearer. Our best man held the rings until that all important part of the ceremony and I didn’t want to differentiate between any of my bridesmaids as they were all crucial to me in my wedding planning.
How to propose to your wedding party
Asking your friends or family to play an important part of your wedding should be an exciting occasion and hopefully will be an honour to them too.
Make the moment even more special with these wedding party proposal ideas:
Pack a box full of some of their favourite gifts and a cute card for your proposal. Watch their faces and wait for the screams of happiness!
Get the gang together for an intimate party and hand them a wine glass with their proposal on it. Then you can toast after they accept too!
Say it best with man cards which also offer some handy advice on how to act on the big day. Double win!
Pop the question to your best man and groomsmen with a dapper pocket watch! They can wear them on the wedding day and look suave.
Organising your A-Team
Once you have made your proposals and got your superhero A-team on board here are a few tips to make sure you keep cool, calm and collected with your tribe during your wedding planning.
Communicate: Make sure you meet regularly to communicate what you want your wedding party to do and when it needs to be done by. Wedding planning can be stressful enough but your team are here to help. And there is no point in getting stressed because your message hasn’t been made clear.
Plan ahead: Your wedding party have their own lives to lead as well as helping to plan your wedding. It’s wise to take this into consideration and plan meetings, fittings and activities in advance to make sure everyone can attend.
Accommodate your team: If one of your all-stars is struggling financially or isn’t comfortable with the dress/suit options try to take this into consideration. Yes, this is your wedding but isn’t it best for everyone to be able to take part in the activities or be comfortable on the wedding day?
Manage your expectations: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Wedding planning can be a little overwhelming at times but your wedding party are there to help you. However, they are not there to do everything for you. If you have communicated clearly what you want them to do then trust they will do it. But don’t expect them to put their life on hold for your wedding.
Heartfelt thank you: When all the hard work is done, you will want to thank your nearest and dearest. Make sure to factor in a simple ‘thank you’ during the groom’s speech and also a gift as a token of your appreciation.
A successful wedding is down to team effort. Being asked to be part of this elite team shows trust and respect and should be considered a pretty large privilege. However, being part of a wedding party also comes with a responsibility to the bride and groom when they need it most.
By taking the time to consider who is in your inner circle and who will prove the most trustworthy, reliable and responsible people to fill your team you can rest assured that your wedding will be in good hands.
If you haven’t already, then check out my post on how to begin planning your wedding to kick your wedding planning into gear.
If you like this post or have anything else to add drop me a comment below!
Until next time…