Our lives can change in an instant. This post details my story and the best advice I can give you to deal with big life changes like a boss! Your move, life!
Life has a funny way of turning on its head when you think you have everything figured out! Keep reading my story and find out how I’ve learned to roll with the punches!
Until 2017, I lived in Edinburgh with my wonderful man. Then a lot happened at once and we made the swift decision to move back home to Belfast.
Have you recently found yourself in a similar situation? Here’s my story, and my advice to nail massive life changes like a BOSS!
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Living life and Finding stability in Edinburgh
Until 2017 I was living in Edinburgh and had been there for six years with my wonderful fiance.
If I’m honest, when we moved across I found the transition difficult for the first while. This is partly due to leaving behind a strong circle of friends and close-knit family connections. It’s also partly because I found it difficult to make lasting connections in Edinburgh.
Edinburgh is beautiful with a mix of old and new architecture and there’s a lovely vibe from the people too. But I was so unbelievably homesick.
You see, we moved there so I could go to Uni. However, jumping into Uni in the third year came with some drawbacks. O
I found this to be one of the most frustrating and loneliest periods of my life. I was living for each opportunity to visit home.
Fast forward a few years, which hadn’t all been plain sailing but I eventually settled into life in Edinburgh.
I was working for a great company and the man had a good job too. We had
When life gives you a low blow: Your move, life!
I’m just throwing it out there. 2017 was a bit of a crap year! Pardon the language.
At Easter 2017 we lost my fiance’s father and my future father in law. Naturally, it was devastating how numb and broken you are after losing a parent. My man was strong but I know it hurt him to leave his family after the funeral.
In October 2017 a dear friend chose to leave this world. He was a truly kind soul who would have helped anyone and his departure has left an incredible void.
To this day I’m unsure if this was fortunate or not, but his disappearance and subsequent passing coincided with a weekend visit I had planned to attend another friend’s wedding party. Naturally, that weekend took more of a sombre tone.
During this weekend I also discovered that my father’s health may not be in the best condition. After burying two people I’d been close to in 2017, this news made the draw to move home unbearable.
I did struggle to adjust to life in Edinburgh at the beginning. However, I had felt more at ease in myself until the events of 2017 unfolded. Regardless, I always knew that Edinburgh was not my home.
When I returned from this weekend visit, my fiance and I agreed it was time to move home. Within four weeks, we had made the decision to relocate. We worked our notice periods, packed up our belongings and bid farewell to our tiny but homely little flat.
Life changes: The return
So it turned out that Mid November 2017 was a good time for us to move back. My dad had just moved into his new house with his partner. Therefore we were able to move into his old house until we found somewhere else.
In terms of work, I had reconnected with an old friend and previous employer a few months prior to our decision to move. This was definitely one of those amazing flukes life throws at you!
I had told her about our mad mission to relocate and luckily she had an opening for my previous job. I was able to walk into the role, albeit temporarily.
The man had been looking for work for two weeks before he was offered a position in his previous job too, so we pretty much landed on our feet!
Christmas and New Year were a little more subdued than normal. However, it was really lovely being home and spending time with the people that mattered most to us.
New home, New job
In the new
Mid house hunting, I also had to add in a job hunt to the mix as my temporary position was coming to an end. Luckily I was offered a great position and was able to finish one job and start the next immediately.
After 4 months of intensely searching for a suitable home, we finally found a property and moved in at the start of May 2018. It’s not a perfect house, and god knows it could do with a lot more than a lick of paint but we are making it our own as we go along.
In January, not content with everything else going on, I also decided it would be worthwhile to go back to college to study a night course twice a week. It has been intense but very beneficial to me on both a personal and professional level.
Oh, and how could I forget… While ALL of this has been going on, I’ve been planning a wedding too!! My wonderful ginger and I will be tying the knot on 25th August 2018.
What have I learned from this experience?
Okay, so you’re probably getting the picture that I’m an all or nothing kind of person.
You’d be half right. I do not do things by half measures. However, this year has been a LOT to take on for both of us and I’m so grateful that I have my fiance to keep me level when I start to stress out.
So what have I learned from this experience?
Moving house is hard work!
Really consider big changes before putting wheels in motion. Moving house is hard work! Moving country is even harder!
From the get-go, I had never planned to stay in Edinburgh forever. I knew that it was a short term move, which turned into 6 years. It is a truly stunning city, but as Dorothy said, there’s no place like home.
Between making the decision and relocating there was a pretty quick turn around of four weeks. We began packing as soon as we had confirmed to ourselves that we would go ahead with it. Even before we handed in our notice to work.
I know life doesn’t always afford the luxury of extra time. However, if doing it all again I would certainly try to extend the transition period by an extra week or two.
The reason for this is being able to enjoy the surroundings a bit more before leaving.
One of my regrets is not having time to revisit some of my favourite spots in Edinburgh and The Lothians leading up to the move. However, we still have friends there and will visit once a year so we will get the opportunity to travel to these places again.
Furthermore, although we began packing from the second we made the decision, having more time would have allowed for at least one night away from packing a week. It really does get monotonous putting things into boxes for 30 days straight! Not to mention
Again, we were lucky that we had somewhere to live and work without having to fit in house and job hunting during the initial move. This certainly made the process a lot easier.
If looking for somewhere to live or work in a new location you may want to consider how long it will take you, and also how much money you have at your disposal.
Calm blue oceans!
Moving house is stressful. Moving country is stressful. Job hunting is stressful. Managing money is stressful. Planning a wedding is stressful.
This period seems like a blur that happened half a lifetime ago. I don’t think I would have survived without my fiance. He was very helpful in keeping me grounded as much as possible.
My way of dealing with stress and frustration is to talk it out. Normally that’s talking to my dad or my other half. Even saying it out loud makes me feel more in control of the problem. It provides enough clarity to reach a solution.
It’s not always practical but taking time to just be is also advisable. Meeting with friends or doing something relaxing can really clear the mind.
Most of the time stress builds because we are constantly mulling a situation over. Keeping that bottled up to yourself is harmful in the long run.
Remember, remember it’s all temporary. This is not how life is going to be forever. This is just a period that has to happen to get you to where you want to be.
There is an end in sight and it WILL be worth it. Stand up, straighten that crown and face this like a champion! You CAN do it and you will do it.
A lot has changed for me since I moved back to Belfast. I write about it quite frequently so please read my other posts, leave me a comment, or get in touch with me via the socials above.
Let me know what you’d like to hear from me or even just say hello!
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Until next time…