Do you want to find out the key ingredients to a happy and successful marriage? Do you want to keep the spark alive in your marriage? Read more for my advice on having a happy and successful marriage.
My husband and I have been together for fourteen years. However, we only married a few months ago – read about our quirky DIY wedding here.
We were engaged for eight years before tying the knot. Largely due to the costs involved with weddings.
The average cost of planning a wedding in the UK is approx £30,000. We just didn’t have that kind of money. However, we got there in the end and had the most amazing day we could have hoped for.
We are so in love and have a fantastic life together, but it hasn’t always been plain sailing. We disagree and get stressed out when we don’t have enough of our own space. Just like any other couple.
Over the last fourteen years, I have learned a lot about relationships. I want to share with you some wisdom I have picked up. This can help you to have a happy and successful marriage.
Before Getting Married
Before getting married, I didn’t believe that anything would change in our relationship after our wedding. I imagined we’d be on cloud nine for a few days before slipping back into life without any significant differences.
Hubby and I had built a strong relationship, life and home together over the last fourteen years. It hasn’t always been ‘easy’ but we both work hard to build the best relationship possible.
We have learned to communicate with each other, read each other, how to work well as a team and how to balance each other out.
Here are my tips for a happy and successful marriage.
The Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, sang it best when she belted out:
Respect is 100% necessary for any relationship to thrive. In fact, it’s probably one of the most important factors in a happy and successful marriage.
The Oxford English Dictionary defines respect as “Due regard for the feelings, wishes, or rights of others.”
Therefore, being aware of your actions and how you treat your partner is crucial. Strong, healthy relationships are built on thoughtfulness, courtesy, communication and compromise.
Partners who disrespect treat each other in negative ways. This negativity can fester into other areas of the relationship making it toxic.
During disagreements, a respectful couple will listen to each other’s points without being dismissive or insulting their partner.
Keeping your partner’s feelings at the forefront of your mind will enable you to show that you love and respect them without having to say a word.
Trust in a marriage is equally as important as respect. There must be mutual trust in a relationship to feel safe and secure with your partner.
Being trustworthy in your marriage means being honest, reliable and dependable.
Happy and successful marriages possess the freedom, to be honest, and open in conversation without the fear of anything confidential being shared.
Marriage is a partnership. B
If your marriage lacks trust it’s nearly impossible to become close with your partner or gain the support you need.
A happy and successful marriage works best when the couple works as a team. Both partners moving towards the same end goal and balancing each other out builds a stronger bond.
When one partner is pulling in a different direction, consideration and compromise can become difficult. It can feel like everyone for themselves which leads to a lack of support.
To strike a happy balance and create a successful marriage, it’s important to communicate and listen to your partner. You must also be committed to the relationship and anticipate your partner’s needs.
Equality is another key component of a happy and successful marriage.
Relationships ebb and flow over time. However, each partner should be willing to put the same effort into the marriage. Thus, building a stronger relationship.
It is possible for a relationship to be successful where there is a dominant partner. However, research shows that power struggles in marriage can lead to unhappiness and unfulfillment.
Being equal in marriage corresponds to mutual respect and being heard by your partner.
It also correlates to feeling free enough to explore new interests both solo and together as a couple.
While having an identity as a couple is important. It’s also essential to a happy and successful marriage to retain your own identity.
One of the hardest, but most rewarding, things to do in a marriage is to forgive.
It may feel like ‘giving in’ or ‘letting them get away with it’. However, letting go of any resentment or animosity can enable you to be objective.
There are two sides to any disagreement. It may feel good to take the moral high ground and believe that you are blameless. But it’s not healthy and more than likely incorrect.
However, by taking an objective stance it’s likely you’ll identify how each partner contributed to the issue.
Holding onto anger can devour a relationship and communication can turn sour. Therefore, by forgiving the wrongdoing, you’re being kind to yourself and your marriage.
Aside from generally being polite, showing gratitude to your partner can help to build a strong and happy relationship.
In times of conflict, a little gratitude can help to relieve some of the tension and promote a healthy resolution.
A study conducted by the University of Georgia concluded that higher levels of gratitude directly linked to a lower possibility of divorce.
Feeling valued and appreciated can have a great impact on your commitment to making your marriage work.
Taking care of yourself is important. Sometimes you have to put yourself and your needs first so that you can be available to other people.
Investing in yourself and your well-being will enable you to develop good habits which can have a positive outcome on your marriage.
We perform best in other areas of our lives when we feel mentally, physically and emotionally fulfilled. Marriage is no different.
Happy and successful marriages keep the ‘spark’ alive by arranging regular date nights.
It’s important to have alone time as a couple, especially as busy lives can get in the way of
Whether it’s opposite shift patterns. Or the daily routine of raising children, you may not have time to just be a couple.
By going on regular dates, you’re making a valuable commitment to your marriage. It provides opportunities for communication, new experiences, strengthening marital commitment and relaxation.
There is a positive correlation between regular dating and lower divorce rates.
Another essential element to happy and successful marriages is communication.
It’s necessary to be able to honestly communicate how you feel with your partner without fear of judgement.
Any barriers to communication in your relationship can lead to feelings of isolation and a lack of emotional intimacy. It’s possible to
Therefore, free-flowing communication creates a rock-solid foundation allowing everything else in your marriage to fall into place.
The attitudes of each couple towards money play a significant part in a happy and successful marriage.
Each couple will have a different way of arranging their finances, however typical arrangements involve the following:
- A joint account for all finances
- A joint account for bills and two separate accounts for personal spending
- Two separate accounts with bills split equally
It is essential to discuss money, ensuring both partners agree on their arrangement.
Disagreements over money are typically longer and more intense than other arguments in a marriage. In fact, money has been noted as one of the top reasons for divorce.
Couples in happy and successful marriages do not shy away from difficult conversations about money. Marriage is all about teamwork and that includes how you deal with your finances.
If you are looking for an easy way to manage your household budget, download your FREE budget template now!
What is the key ingredient to a happy and successful marriage?
This shouldn’t come as a surprise to you but there is no one single key ingredient to a happy and successful marriage.
A combination of all of the above is necessary for a happy and successful marriage.
Without trust, respect, equal input and communication, it’s increasingly difficult to work effectively as a team. Showing gratitude and forgiveness can build a strong and secure marriage.
Talking about money might well be every married couples least favourite thing to do. However, having open and frank conversations about finances will avoid lengthy disagreements and reduce the likelihood of divorce.
Actions of self-care empower you to invest in your relationship. Making time for regular dates enables you to have fun and focus on being a couple in the midst of busy lives.
I hope this post has given you insight and guidance to build a happy and successful marriage. I’d really love to know your thoughts and if you would add anything to this list? Let me know in the comments!
Until next time…